The Gossip Chronicles
by doggettandscully
Summary: Gossip circulates through the FBI in the form of a news letter.....


Doggett reluctantly pulled a $10 note from his wallet and handed it over to the woman  
at the till, he had arrived at work extra early that morning in order to get some of his  
adored pink-ice doughnuts. He had run into the canteen to find a tray of white-ice doughnuts  
in their place, in a cacky, mental fit he had gone crazy   
"Where are they?" he had yelled, his favourite catering assistant had informed him that the  
bakery that delivers the pink ice doughnuts had not arrived that day and he had to make do with  
white ice instead. He hated paying for the doughnuts he didn't like  
"Thanks" he sulked as he left the canteen with a solemn face, outside he accidently bumped into  
Agent Shue who was busily rushing around like a blue arsed fly  
"Hey" Shue yelled  
"Sorry" Doggett apologised as he bent down to help Shue retrieve some papers that had fallen  
from his grasp in the cofuffle  
"Hey you seen Skinhead?" Shue asked with a smirk  
"No" Doggett replied handing him the papers, Shue took them with a thankful smile "Why?"  
"He is wearing this really loud tie, the colour combination is really lame and man it has  
this really sad design" Shue laughed  
"Oh well I have to see it, I am sure he will be down to check on me later" Doggett bitched  
"Ok catch you later Dog" Shue said, Doggett sulked, he had recently developed a nickname at  
the FBI his name was Dog short for Doggett he thought or had they all decided he perhaps looked  
like a dog, smelt like a dog or even ate like a dog? He thought about it long and hard until  
he reached the office door. He had a giggling sound inside, he opened the door to see Scully  
sitting in her usual position at her computer  
"Morning" he said dashing to his desk in cackment for his doughnuts  
"Morning Doggett" Scully yelped, happily   
"Anything interesting on your David Boreanaz site?" he asked in a bitch  
"What?" she yelled in shock "What are you talking about?"  
"Nothing" he teased  
"I haven't got a website and I don't like David Boreanaz" she protested "Why do you always  
say that?"  
"Calm down" he said biting his doughnut "I was kidding"  
"Well it's not funny The Dog" Scully bitched back making Doggett sulk like a school boy   
"Yo" Willmore said as he entered the office, Scully quickly turned off her monitor and turned  
her attention to her sexy Willmore  
"Hello" she said happily  
"How's it hanging?" Willmore asked  
"Great" Doggett replied  
"You seen Skinman's tie?" Willmore asked referring to the gossip Doggett had already heard  
"Not yet" Doggett laughed  
"Am I missing something?" Scully asked with jealousy, butting into their conversation  
"Yeh" Doggett snapped "Hey watch out" Doggett joked as he flicked an elastic band through the air,  
it hit Willmore's arm sending them both into a laughing fit. Willmore responded with flicking  
the band back, it travelled through the air with speed and hit Doggett's shoulder  
"Quit that" Scully bitched  
"No" Doggett snapped, he flicked the band back...he expected to hear a giggle but instead he   
looked up to see an angered Skinner with a crack in his spectacle lenses  
"AGENT DOGGETT" Skinner yelled, Doggett found the whole scene amusing. Skinner stood with  
a cracked lense, it was then he caught sight of the loud tie he had been informed about. It  
was the ugliest piece of clothing he had ever seen. It was black with pink and yellow squiggles,  
blue squares and green triangles. He began to giggle, he couldn't hold in the laugh. He saw  
Willmore trying hard not to laugh as well which only made the situation worse "AGENT JOHN DOGGETT  
RISE TO YOUR FEET THIS INSTANT" Skinner yelled,   
"Sorry" Doggett said as another laugh escaped his feet, he glanced at Scully who looked shocked  
and terrified by the rucus  
"SORRY? Am I expected to believe that you are sorry boy?" Skinner asked with rage, he ran over  
and grabbed Doggett by his tie and began to spin him around the room in a circular motion  
"Sir let go" Scully ordered, she ran over and attempted to remove Skinner's hands from Doggett  
"NO" Skinner yelled  
"Please sir let him go, you could kill him" Scully explained, Skinner suddenly stopped and   
thought for a while before swiftly pushing Doggett to the floor leaving him in an undignified  
heap on the floor  
"Agent Doggett, I have told you I don't want Tomfoolrey in my offices EVER and what do you do?"  
Skinner asked, Doggett was paralysed with fear. He had turned white and was shaking like a leaf  
"Go on boy laugh now"  
"Please sir" Scully snapped "I think Doggett has learnt his lesson"  
"Agent Doggett will never learn his lesson, look at him" Skinner said pointing and laughing "A   
worthless little drop kick who doesn't know right from wrong?"  
"I think you've gone a little too far Mr Skinner" Willmore interrupted, Doggett was now  
crying like a baby, Scully had to agree with Skinner. Doggett looked completley stupid  
"How dare you?" Skinner asked   
"Sorry I just.."  
"You just keep out of this Agent Willmore, might I ask why you are even in this office?"  
"I was just erm..erm popping in to see if Doggett or Scully needed any help with their most  
recent case file" Willmore lied, Skinner looked and felt stupid. He nodded and proceeded over  
toward Agent Doggett   
"Come on Agent Doggett get to your feet. I think we have a meeting with Kersh" Skinner said  
pulling the sqawny Agent to his little feet.  
  
LATER  
  
Doggett returned to the office depressed and gloomy. He plodded over to his desk and slumped  
down without even moving he just sat there staring at his messy desk  
"What happened?" Scully asked noting the disasatrous look upon Doggett's usually smirkful face  
"I got yelled at, called worthless and pathetic, lazy, greedy and a few other names" Doggett  
said in one long dry sentence  
"Oh" Scully said unsure what to say or do "Want to go out for lunch?"  
"No" he snapped "I might go for a walk to the bridge"  
"The bridge?" Scully asked, she couldn't believe Doggett actually wanted to walk let alone  
going to the bridge, he hated the bridge  
"Yes you know that little handy thing joining cities to cities across the water?" Doggett asked  
in a bitchy manner  
"Oh well be like that, no wonder nobody likes you and you have no friends" she said in anger  
"Grrrrrrrrrrr" he yelled, Scully was petrified as he jumped up with an angered expression,  
he ran toward the door and sprinted out like a shot.  
Scully was shocked and amused at the same time, she leant back in her chair and began to think  
how sorry she felt for Dogggett. Skinner had put him down in one day and now she had made it  
worse, she had told him he had no friends, he probably felt alone and useless. It was then  
she remembered he was going to the bridge, could he be going to commit suicide? Was he going   
there to jump off? A panicky state entered her body as she dashed for the door.  
  
THE BRIDGE  
  
Doggett smiled as he saw the sun shining on the water, he didn't have a care in the world. No  
matter what Skinner said he didn't feel worthless, lazy or greedy. He looked down at his  
prawn cocktail sandwich and smiled he gently peeled the wrapper back, suddenly the sandwich  
lost grip with his hand. It tumbled down and slowly fell down over the bridge, he almost shit  
himself as he glanced over the edge. There it was nesting upon a large metal rod, he tried to  
reach with his hand but it wasn't long enough. He moved forward and tried again to retrieve  
his lunch, his attempt was not successful. He was cacking so much that he decided he should  
try and climb over a little, he might be lucky, perhaps he would just be able to get over enough  
to reach his sandwich. He placed his leg over and tried to find his footing on the other side  
as he did he felt two hands engulf his shoulders and force him back  
"DOGGETT" Scully screeched, he looked to see Scully with an anxious and terrified face  
"What?" he asked calmly  
"Please, I didn't mean what I said. Don't kill yourself" she pleaded  
"I wasn't" he defended  
"You don't need to pretend Doggett. I know you must be down, I was in dispair once. I felt  
like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, I anticipated suicide, once I tried to  
kill myself. I tied some stockings on my light fitting, then I changed my mind and realised  
I wanted to live"  
"Scully I was actually trying to get my lunch" he said trying hard not to laugh at her ridiculous  
sentence  
"Oh" she stuttered more than embarrassed, she had revealed one of her deepest, darkest secerets  
for no reason, Doggett was being his usual greedy self, worrying about food, risking his life  
just to get his lunch  
"I am sure that you had a rough patch though" he blurted out with raised eyebrows, he found  
his face breaking into a giggle so he turned around to face the water "Er let me buy you lunch"  
"No" she said flatly "I had better get back to the office and so should you, you have been barred  
from leaving the building at lunch, remember?" Scully asked in an effort to maintain some  
dignity  
"Oh yeh" he said with sadness "I have forgotten about that little incident" he giggled, the  
little incident being a day last week when he had gone out for lunch and caused an almighty  
accident at a sandwich shop, in a moment of anger Skinner had barred him from leaving the  
building at lunch time so to avoid any futher incidents  
"Well it's nothing to laugh about" she bitched  
  
DOGGETT AND SCULLY'S OFFICE  
  
"What are you doing?" Doggett asked as he saw her typing and giggling on her computer  
"None of your business" Scully snapped  
"Oh" Doggett bitched, he stood up and pretended he was reaching for his satchell which  
was placed on a work top behind her desk, he caught a quick glimpse at her screen. She was on  
Yahoo! chat in a club called Angel, it was obvious it was the television show because everybody  
in the room including Scully who had gone on with the ID FBI_DANA_SCULLY_ANGEL was going on  
about how sexy David Boreanaz was, he noted Scully had mentioned a man named Giles from Buffy  
too but he didnt know who he was, he shook his head and stepped forward a little. Observantly  
he saw she was typing with speed as if in a cack   
"STOP!" she yelled, she had seen him spying "How dare you invade my privacy"  
"I'm sorry" he apologised trying to show some respect, inside he wanted to laugh "I am actually  
finding it rather interesting, I mean it's a good topic" he lied but it didn't help, she looked  
even more offended   
"Go away" Scully said with fury, Doggett quickly gave into her request and found himself over  
the other side of the office in a flash.  
  
THAT EVENING  
  
Doggett had invited Agent Shue over for dinner, it was the least he could do after the  
incident involving Doggett knocking a bundle of papers from Shue's hand  
"So" Shue said cosily sitting down "Heard any goss?"  
"No" Doggett said feeling stupid, it was never like this. Doggett used to either make up a  
story about an Agent to make himself look in the know or he would copy other gossip he had  
already heard  
"You're slacking" Shue admitted "Willmore and Reebox even said so" Shue said  
"Oh well I do have something that might just get some interest" Doggett said, he felt guilty  
about doing this but he was loosing his credibility with the agents of the FBI, how could he  
let his rep suffer?  
"Well?" Shue asked getting a pen and paper from his handy Nike satchell placed beside him  
"It's about my partner, Scully?" Doggett questioned  
"Oh yeh the crazy one right?" Shue asked remembering some gossip Doggett spred months previously,  
about Scully having a time of despearation, he had told people she was seeing a shrink because  
she was caught running amok in the FBI, he had told them she was talking to herself,   
"Yeh" Doggett replied, he felt awful but how could he pass this chance up? This would make  
the front page on the secret paper circulating the FBI titled "The Gossip Chronicles" it had  
been created a year ago but Agent Dermot Derwin a nerd by nature and a gossip by trade  
"Well I'm all ears and paper" Shue stated  
"Agent Scully tried to commit suicide a few months ago, you know? She was going through a  
dramatic time" Doggett said  
"Was this around the time she was seeing that shrink?" Shue asked, Doggett nodded  
"Well she tried to, she tied some stockings to the light fitting in her apartment but changed  
her mind" Doggett said, Shue burst into a fit of laughter when he heard the gossip.  
"Man this will make headlines" Shue said with a laugh "We should dramatise it, you know make  
it sound worse?"  
"Why?" Doggett asked feeling cruel  
"Well make her look worse" Shue said laughing  
"I don't think you should do that" Doggett admitted "She has her rep, you know?"  
"Well man her rep went down the toilet when that gossip came out about her going crazy. That  
made the front page on two occassions" Shue said with dissapointment "Besides Dog, you always  
want to print gossip about Agent Pendrell and Agent Potsanpanz, why are you going all soft  
on Scully? You don't fancy her, do you?" he teased  
"NO" Doggett yelled in shock, how dare Shue accuse him of a relationship  
"Oh that's a shame, could make a good gossip story for the paper" Shue joked  
"NO WAY" Doggett yelled  
"Dog, calm down" Shue said still referring to him by the nick name he had adopted  
"Look I have things to do, you have your gossip now leave" Doggett ordered, how would he face  
Scully tomorrow? He has told of her deepest secret, nobody else knew of her despondant moment  
involving suicide  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
Doggett walked into the office, Scully was absent from her desk which was a big shock. Was he  
early? he asked. He then noticed her reading glasses were beside her desk, she must be in   
he concluded. He walked to his desk and placed his satchell on it, he opened his drawer  
to find the new issue of The Gossip Chronicles inside, with excitement he glanced at the  
front page. There she was, Scully a large photo of her, the headline SUICIDAL NUT CASE in bold  
letters, the writing was dramatised, everything had been made to look worse, he didn't  
know whether to feel excitement or guilt, his story had been published but he had also   
broken the confidence of his partner  
"Morning" Scully said, Doggett didn't hear her enter. He was to wrapped up in the story written  
about Scully, he was glad the paper was kept secret, only certain agents had it delivered  
secretly to their desk drawers "Morning" she repeated, still he was busily reading. She  
decided she would have a peek at what he was reading, she guessed it must be something   
interesting, she tip-toed over and peeked over his shoulder. She nearly shit herself when she  
saw the headline on the front page, below it a picture of her dressed in the worst out fit  
she could ever imagine...suicidal? she asked herself, her mouth dropped open her heart pounding  
she nearly fainted, she began to read the story...she wanted to scream and cry or just  
fall into a big hole in the floor and never return again  
"DOGGETT" Scully screamed, she knew instantly Doggett had spread this gossip, the day before  
she had revealed her secret, now it was all over a newspaper,  
"Awww" he screamed back when he realised she had seen the paper  
"HOW COULD YOU?" she yelled, her hands extended and began to punch his face, he tried to  
get away but found his chair doing a wheelee, soon it overturned and now he was laying on  
the floor in pain "YOU ARSE"  
"Please, don't kill me" Doggett pleaded "You don't understand"  
"i'M GOING TO SEE SKINNER" she shouted, he heard a large cry and footsteps running followed  
by the door slamming. He guessed it was safe to stand up, he felt awful, not only was Scully  
upset, Skinner was going to find out about the secret paper.  
  
LATER  
  
After calming down and thinking of a logical lie Doggett had sat at his desk for almost an  
hour before Scully returned in a calm manner, she didn't even look at him when she walked in.  
She casually sat at her desk and began to work on her computer, she didn't even log onto the  
Internet as she usually did, something was seriously wrong.  
"Agent Doggett" Skinner's grumpy voice said, Doggett was scared more than ever, Skinner wasn't  
alarmed, it was as if the past hour hadn't happened "Would you mind coming to my office?"  
"Erm no" Doggett said rising to his feet, a painful reminded of the punches he had received  
came back when he accidently bumped into his chair leg "Er sir are you ok?" Doggett asked  
confused  
"Of course" Skinner replied calmly leaving the room  
  
SKINNER'S OFFICE  
  
Doggett could not quite understand anything, Skinner had walked him up to the office, coffee  
and cookies were laid out for him in a neat pile, a cusion placed on his chair? Doggett sat down  
"Agent Doggett I have some news" Skinner said raising his eyebrows "I know what you did"  
"What?" Doggett asked  
"You spread GOSSIP? GOSSIP?" Skinner yelled, Doggett realised Skinner had tried to be calm but  
he just couldn't "NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS ANYBODY EVER DONE SUCH A CRUEL AND HEARTLESS THING, ARE  
YOU HEARING ME?"  
"Yes" Doggett answered as he began to get an ear ache and a headache at the same time  
"THE GOSSIP CHRONICLES?" Skinner asked "I WANT NAMES BOY NAMES" Skinner yelled, Doggett was  
being forced to tell tale on his friends, how could he?   
"Sir I can't" Doggett said "If I do.."  
"I Can tell you what will happen if you don't Agent Doggett" Skinner said a little calmer "You  
will lose your job"  
Doggett was so scared he nearly shit himself, he was literally cacking. He was going to lose  
his job? He wasn't the first person to spread gossip regaring Scully, he certainly wouldn't  
be the last. Skinner was being over the top  
"Please sir I can't lose my job, I'm behind on my mortage, if I lose my job my house goes"   
Doggett said a tear dripping down his shocked face  
"Before you spread lies in a secret paper you should think of the consequences" Skinner snapped  
"You had better sign this form" Skinner handed a form over the desk, his dismissal had already  
been filled out. Skinner had planned this before he brought him to the office, had Scully also  
helped?  
Doggett had no choice, he could get another job but he couldn't get anymore friends. He signed  
the form and passed it back over the desk with a sad face "I could say it has been a pleasure  
Agent Doggett but it has been hell having you here" Skinner said with an evil glare "Pack your  
stuff and leave" he ordered, Doggett stood from his chair and made his way over to the door.  
It was then he remembered the coffee and cookies, why were they there? he asked Was that even  
important? He left, walking into the reception he saw Shue sitting down with a huge grin  
"Yo Dog" Shue said  
"I've been sacked" Doggett squealed  
"What?" Shue asked  
"Skinner found the paper" Doggett said "He wanted me to tell him who was responsible but I  
wouldn't"  
"Thanks" Shue said "I owe you won"  
"But I've just lost my job, you owe me a lot more" Doggett snapped  
"I'm being promoted" Shue said with happiness "Skinner's got a special coffee break set up in  
there"  
"Oh" Doggett said bitcily leaving  
  
X-FILES OFFICE  
  
Doggett did not know how to handle the situation he was facing he stood watching the office door  
unsure on whether he should go inside and try and speak to Scully, should he just go in and  
collect his things and leave? How was he going to survive, he was behind on his mortgage payments  
because he had been spending his salary on nights out with Agent Scrag and now he had  
lost his job, without a seconds thought he dashed inside  
"Er hi" Doggett said but Scully blantly ignored him, she carried on reading her magazine "Listen"  
he said walking over "I'm sorry", Scully still ignored him, he wanted to shout at her and  
call her a bitch for helping Skinner sack him but he had no proof and it was just make matters  
worse.  
  
DOGGETT'S HOUSE  
  
In depression Doggett swigged another drop from the bottle of vodka clutched in his hand, he  
had got through three hamburgers, three large fries and two budweisers. He couldn't face the  
thought of being unemployed, he had secretly hoped another agent would have got the blame  
for the story printed about Scully but stupid Agent Shue had written Doggett's name at the  
bottom of the page, this made him annoyed. Shue was being promoted whilst he was sitting at home  
unemployed and drunk, a knock at the door brought him to his feet, he walked over and opened  
it to reveal Scully and Reyes  
"Scully?" Doggett questioned with shock "Reyes?"  
"You fucking bastard" Reyes yelled, her foul mouth giving him an headache "How could you do   
that to her?"  
"Erm..." Doggett was shocked by her outburst, he looked at Scully who was guiltily looking at  
the floor he guessed she had bitched to Reyes about the whole scenario and now Reyes was angry,  
Reyes suddenly pushed Doggett causing him to tumble to the floor with a wallop   
"Now you are paying for your fucking mistakes" Reyes shouted  
"Don't kill me" Doggett pleaded using his arms as sheilds, Scully and Reyes laughed at his  
childish behavior   
"Nobody is going to kill you, you fool" Reyes said with a cold stare "I'm glad you lost your  
job you deserved it"  
"Gee thanks" Doggett bitched  
"Well you'll be thanking me when this gets out" Reyes said holding up a piece of paper with  
printed writing, Doggett was confused, what did she have in her hand? What would get out? Why  
will he be thanking her? "John Doggett was sacked from the FBI for gross misconduct" Reyes  
read "he was caught stealing from Agent Scully's handbag because he was so poor he couldn't  
afford to pay his rent" Reyes said with a laugh, Scully looked at the shocked looked on Doggett's  
face and felt guilt sweep through her mind, he looked so terrified at the rumour "He also  
stole some money from a little old lady when he mugged her for her purse" Reyes said with   
hysterical laughter  
"Are you going to print that?" Doggett asked  
"Yes in the gossip chronicles" Reyes said giving him a dirty look "Come on Dana, let's go"  
Reyes said tugging at Scully  
"Ok" Scully said giving Doggett a sympathetic smile, she couldnt understand why she felt so  
mean after all he had printed a rumour about her and now she was getting her revenge.  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
FBI HEADQUARTERS  
  
Scully walked into the empty office and caught sight of Agent Chumleigh sitting at Doggett's desk,  
a huge grin spread across his ugly face  
"Morning" Chumleigh said raising his eyebrows "I'm filling in for Agent Doggett today, I hope  
you had a safe journey" he said with his tiring, long tone  
"Yes" Scully said sitting down at her desk she opened her top drawer to get her reading glasses,  
in surprise she found a newspaper with a picture of Doggett and the headline 'Dodgy Doggett',  
she could not believe the paper had been made so fast, the writer of the article was noted as  
Agent Spank she had seen him lingering around the corridors many times, he was a shady agent who  
had been secretly giving information to the CIA   
"So Agent Scully, do you know how Agent Doggett is? I heard he was given the old elbow after he  
stole some money from your purse, is that correct?" he asked in one long drone, Agent Chumleigh  
was a boring agent, nobody enjoyed being partnered with him, he seemed to talk all the time and  
anything he could think of to say was never exciting,  
"No that's not true" Scully defended,   
"According to the local gossip paper, Agent Spank printed in article stating he was fired because  
he stole from you and mugged an old lady"  
"Well it's not true, it's gossip" she snapped dishing out a dirty look in the process  
"I beg your pardon, I am very sorry. I shouldn't have believed such nasty gossip" Chumleigh said  
"It's ok" Scully said "I'm sure everybody makes up rumours from time to time"  
  
AFTERNOON  
  
Scully realised just how much she was missing Doggett, Chumleigh was a nightmare. Not only  
was he boring he constantly yawned and made strange grunting noises, the morning had been  
depressing for her. She now wished she hadnt helped Skinner fill out Doggett's leaving form,  
she could have changed Skinner's mind about firing Doggett but in her fit of rage she had wanted  
it more than anything......  
  
DOGGETT'S HOUSE  
  
Doggett lounged on the sofa stuffing his face with marshmellows and doritos his favourite snacks,  
he reached out and flicked the television channel over to see they were running his  
favourite television show, Cagney and Lacey. He sighed with enjoyance and stretched out.  
Suddenly a terrible thought dawned on him, he had NO job, He had never really thought if it  
before until now, how would he pay the bills? He began to flip out by having a major shit fit  
around the house, he panicked and cacked as he tried to come to terms with the nasty  
reality, a knock at the door brought him back to his senses and at the door, he swung it open  
to reveal Scully with a guilty expression and a box of Dunkin' Donuts.  
"Scully?" he questioned  
"Can I come in?" she asked with a sad face, Doggett nodded and allowed enough space for her  
to enter, she handed him the doughnuts which he took with joy  
"What brings you here?" he asked  
"Reyes dropped me off" Scully said  
"No I mean what made you come here?" he asked with confusion  
"Reyes dropped me!" she repeated in a shriek  
"Why are you here?" Doggett asked with frustration  
"Oh well I feel horrible about the Gossip Chronicle" Scully said with sorrow "It wasn't my  
idea, Reyes thought you deserved it" Scully said shifting the blame onto her best friend  
"Oh well it doesn't matter" Doggett said almost jumping onto the sofa "I think you could just  
talk to Skinner and get him to give me my job back" Doggett said  
"You're just going to let it go?" Scully asked with surprise "No guilt trips?"  
"I can't be bothered, I just want my job" he said offering Scully a doughnut "If you like  
you can ring him" he said pointing to the phone, Scully accepted his offer of a doughnut  
and reached out for the telephone received to ring Skinner.  
Doggett realised he was bored with Cagney and Lacey so he turned over to be greeted with  
the vision of a kiddie programme, Bob the builder, he didn't mind it he reasoned with himself  
it was watchable. He heard Scully chatting away in a whispery voice before hearing the  
receiver being placed back on the phone "Well?" Doggett asked  
"You can have your job back as long as you don't spread anymore gossip" she warned.  
  
THE END 


End file.
